Back to "normal"

I had to use this post title after I woke up this morning thinking, Wow I'm almost back to normal. I couldn't believe those first thoughts after they registered. Living without my husband has become the norm for me. It just made me sad....and a little jealous of those married couples that don't have to go through this. To many others, all this is far from normal.

Things still aren't all the way back to "normal," but I'd say I'm about 60% there. It's hard for me to think that he was just here no more than 30 hours ago. I guess 18 days wasn't enough for me to turn survival mode off, thankfully. Yesterday wasn't nearly half as bad as what I went through the very first day of this deployment. The way I felt, coming down from those amazing 18 days, was similar to how I felt after a huge family get-together during the holidays when I was a child. 

We don't have family here in the States (they're all in Peru), but we had a lot of close friends that I consider family. I remember being so happy when everyone was over. All our celebrations included lots of good food, loud music, and when the adults got happy, dancing. Meanwhile I'd be downstairs with all my friends playing throughout the night. When the parents called downstairs for their kids to get ready to leave, we didn't pay any attention because not a minute later the music resumed and the overhead pounding continued. Once we heard quiet from upstairs, we knew our parents were serious. The day after our huge get-togethers I always felt down and missed everyone already.

So yesterday was a come down from the high produced from those feel-good hormones during Jon's visit. My heart was heavy and I felt down. I'm a nerd so I was thinking about those hormones and neurotransmitters affecting mood. I wonder if in my down moods those levels are abnormally low. Maybe back in my childhood they were because I seriously suffered the same lows that I suffer when my husband leaves me.

I was planning on running the Tucson Half Marathon this morning, to help myself recover after Jon's departure. That is one way I cope with sadness: running. It never fails to lighten my mood. In fact, that is exactly what I did last deployment when Jon had to leave after R&R. I was hopeless and in a pathetic state of mind so I forced myself to lace up those running shoes and go for a 4 mile run. It works wonders and I swear by it. This morning, however, I chose to forego the half marathon, especially because I aggravated my IT band after a measly 3 mile run with Jon last Wednesday. I don't think 13.2 miles would have been good, especially since it's been 2 years since I ran such a distance and I've been doing zero conditioning and training for the race. 

Sorry for the random post! The next ones will be better. But I need to get some motivation to upload my pictures from our trip to Vegas and organize them. Hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekends! Back to the daily grind tomorrow!

Flat Mommy

While perusing the world of milspouse blogs, I stumbled upon a "nontraditional" milspouse--a husband who stayed behind with his daughter while his wife was deployed overseas. To every family gathering and trip, he carted along "Flat Mommy" and took pictures to document life without his wife. I got a little teary-eyed while flipping through the pages of The Flat Mommy Book. I've said it before and I'll say it again--I don't know how these "single" parents do it. I have a hard enough time on my own!

To all you mommies out there!!

Military Spouse Appreciation Day: May 9, 2008

Not a very well-known day, but first proclaimed by President Reagan back in 1984. I just want to acknowledge all the other military spouses out there. Although we are all scattered around the world, I feel like I'm a part of this group, held together by that one common factor....and with it comes comraderie. The following is a poem I found off of this website.

The Military Spouse
Author Unknown

There he stands in camouflage…yet he cannot hide from you.

You can pick him out in a crowd, and eye his stride among a formation.

There he goes, away from you again, off to do his part and be his best, leaving you in his wake - never behind, yet always longing for his return.
There you are, amidst boxes and paper and confusion, creating a home, designing a household, transforming a building into a loving nurturing, comfortable environment.
Memories will be made here. Events will be celebrated.

Children will be born, graduate, grow, change. Your family will evolve. Your love will increase. Your marriage will improve. And then you will be asked to leave it all…again.
There are those who do not understand…Who cannot comprehend what it takes to fulfill your role, to fill your shoes, to be all that you need to be.

They marvel at times, criticize at others, seldom appreciate, cannot imagine. There are those moments when you are where they are.

When you marvel, criticize, lack comprehension and are unable to muster understanding.
And then he appears at the door, or on the phone, or through a rumpled letter addressed to “My Love” and suddenly there is comprehension and understanding, affirmation and conviction.

For by his presence, through his voice, in his message you KNOW that you’ve been beckoned to a noble calling, when asked to be a military spouse.
Invited to support a soldier who allows freedom, who guards democracy, who instills leadership. And in your role you see a slice of life that few others have the privilege to experience…

Flags appear more brilliant to you…

Parades draw out more emotion for you…

A patriotic song is a musical message played just for you…

A hand-over-the-heart is as stirring as an embrace for you…

A parting kiss can hold you for months…

A welcome back embrace can fill you up from lonely months…

A grave marker is a stark reminder of the meaning of devotion…

A tear shared is a stark statement on the meaning of sacrifice…

A duffel bag on a baggage claim gives you pause and connection…

An eagle’s soar gives you inspiration. There you are…

The military spouse, the one asked to be strong, the one willing to belong.

The one who is often required to do it all.

The one who is privileged to stand beside a true American - day in and day out.

There are military spouses around the world, beside soldiers, airmen, marines and sailors.

They share a bond, a unity and a duty to be there, always for their hero.

There.

Said.
Done.

There are no better…anywhere.

Along those same lines, even though I didn't post anything about it, April was the Month of the Military Child. I can't even imagine how much tougher it would be for the children left behind and for the mothers/fathers who have to hear their children cry out for their parents. =(

Time for a new post! I go in waves of frequent posting and then none at all for a while. The reason this time is that my two little sisters were down visiting me for spring break! We had a lot of fun...a little shopping here, some sightseeing there, and a lot of eating! They got in late Tuesday night...well, early Wednesday morning. I'm fortunate to live literally five minutes from the airport so we were able to turn in pretty soon after we got to my house. Sammy was a little terror that night and the next day as I expected. He wore the muzzle around them during those times. But, to my surprise, he warmed up pretty quickly and was soon demanding their attention, constantly trying to initiate play with them with ankle biting and "herding."

He misses them already!

Every tourist in Tucson has to go to the Arizona Sonora Desert Museum so we made the trek up Gates Pass and spent a nice 85 degree afternoon outdoors exploring the desert and its inhabitants. Armed with plenty of sunscreen, we made our way through the museum snapping pictures as we went along. By the end of it Diana was pretty tired, probably due to the sun's strong rays and the long walk. I think I'm finally used to the sun here because I'd normally be beat too! Some pictures from the trip

Afterwards, we treated ourselves to a delicious Cuban dinner at El Cubanito and a refreshing gelato dessert at Frost (by far the best gelato I've ever tasted! A pair of UA grads "imported" their gelataio straight from Italy!)

On another day, we made the drive up to Mt. Lemmon where it was 30 degrees cooler and very breezy. We even found snow!

It's amazing how quickly the vegetation changes on the way up. Towards the beginning of the climb the saguaros were everywhere, but we noticed that they just stopped at about 4000 feet to be replaced by ponderosa pines. At the top of the mountain I felt like I was in Wallowa Lake or in E. WA back home in the PNW!

All in all, it was a pretty good visit. We even got some baking, my new favorite hobby, in! Some chocolate mousse and two dozen blueberry cupcakes with white chocolate buttercream frosting!

Now how do you fix that annoying problem I've been having of not being able to link your photos so that you readers can see them bigger on a separate page?