My Monday

It's 1:30 here and I'm still in my pajamas. I woke up at 11:30 to the sound of soft rain, got up to eat something, fed the dog, let him out, and went back to bed. So goes my life these days. I've been working nights in our local hospital's postpartum unit for a couple months now and tonight is a dreaded work night. I've got no problems sleeping during the day (other than neighbors' annoying dogs barking nonstop), no problems staying awake at night, and so far no scary moments on the 40-minute drive home, but I absolutely hate this! I wake up, eat a piece of fruit because anything more will set off the nausea, and suffer stomach issues the whole night. I've had a few lucky days where I've been able to eat and felt great, but those nights aren't enough to offset the bad nights. Digestive issues have always been a problem for me whenever I stayed up too late, so none of this surprises me.

Other than the shift itself, I love my job! I'm so happy to be working with healthy patients. Most of the time the situation is also a happy one. And of course I love working with the newborns! I'm getting more and more comfortable with handling them (you should have seen me when I was a student--so scared to break them!) and yes, I will occasionally cuddle them. Heel sticks for blood tests are also easy now and I actually like to do them now. Don't worry, they get a pacy with sugar water and sleep through it for the most part. My biggest challenge? Breast feeding! I think I get more frustrated than mom or baby when it's just not happening. I stress out when a baby won't eat. I'm not a breast feeding expert, nor do I have any personal experience with it, so just how am I supposed to be helping these moms breast feed more effectively? I am getting better at it, but I have to admit I get relieved when a mom comes in just wanting to formula feed. I know I'm horrible.

All this and more that I haven't mentioned are great preparation for me. In a few months time I will be that exhausted mom trying to get baby to latch on. I'll be the patient the nurse will walk in on, holding the baby and just gazing at him/her (I really do love walking in to that scene). Hopefully, I'll be better prepared than your typical first-time mom, but somehow I doubt I'll have less questions and I will be just as scared! I am so excited, hopeful, antsy, impatient, all-of-the-above and more. But for now, I need to rein in all this emotion and get to bed. Goodnight and happy Monday!

Time flies when you're having fun!

Or even when you're not! Nursing school flew by, that's for sure! I still can't believe that I'm expected to be on my own eventually. I'm still in student mode, still feel like a student, and probably still think like one too. I'm working on our hospital's postpartum unit. I'm the nurse for both mom and baby, which I have to admit I didn't know was the case when I asked for this unit because when I was a student here baby had his own nurse and mom had her own.

It's been quite a transition from student to nurse. The first time I had to go medicate a patient on my own, I checked, double-checked, and checked again to make sure of the dose and that it was OK to give it at that time. As I pulled the medicine out and walked to the patient's room to administer it, I felt like I should have my preceptor there with me watching my every move. I'm just so used to having someone over my shoulder all the time! Well, I've been at it for 3 weeks now, and I have to say I'm loving it! I went from following my preceptor around to taking the majority of her assignment on my own. I have even had the opportunity to call doctors a few times (I was so nervous about this when an awful anesthetist came and talked to our class and scared the crap out of me--our doctors aren't really that evil!) I've been struggling with how exactly to help a mom breast feed when she's having trouble. I mean, after all, I haven't had my own children yet, never breast fed in my life! I have a lot to learn and three more weeks until I really am on my own. This week I start nights. Right now I'm just trying to stay up as late as possible and gearing up to become a vampire.

What am I doing at night when the rest of the world sleeps? Knitting, crafting, making stuff with my hands. I missed this part of my life when I was in school, so I've been living it up and taking advantage of my free time. That is all for now, must go and finish Christmas presents!

This is my reality

I love coming home after work to find my husband intently working on one of his little projects in the garage. I love how he put everything down to grill some hamburgers and bratwurst for dinner. I love having my husband home. I feel like a different person now. The neighbors around me only knew me as the one whose husband was in Iraq. But I'm part of a couple and now they need to get to know the other half. 

I feel different. The house feels different. The days feel different. When I first open my eyes and am fully conscious in the mornings, I'm just happier, warmer, content. I don't remember feeling this way for a long time. I like it! But, man do those weeks drag by now!

We celebrated Valentine's Day on Friday. I had a couple rib-eyes for the occasion and Jon had bought a 14 oz. lobster tail at Costco that day. It was sooo yummy! I had maybe two bites of steak and I ate that whole lobster tail all.by.myself......with lots of butter! Yeah that started off a weekend of horrible eating!

On Valentine's Day we tried eating at our favorite Italian restaurant, but everything was super crowded. So we just grabbed a couple Hot N Ready pizzas from Little Caesar's and noshed on that. We followed that with a glass of port for dessert. Jon promptly went to bed at 9:30 while I stayed up and watched SNL while knitting.

This coming Saturday I have my nursing school interview. I'm so nervous! I really hope I get in! If I don't, I've got a back up plan. I'll be happy either way. Because the night he came home, Jon told me if I don't get into nursing school we can start thinking about having kids within the next year or two. Yay!!!! I never thought I'd hear those words out of his mouth! I've been expressing a really strong desire to have kids now and I'm so happy! 

Blogging will remain sporadic, as I share the MacBook with Jon now. I literally have to pry it out of his hands when I get home! I'm still catching up on all your blogs! Well, wish me luck on the interview!

Good news!!!!

Besides the fact that my husband should be in my arms Sunday afternoon.....

I GOT AN INTERVIEW FOR MY PROSPECTIVE NURSING PROGRAM!

It's the next step in the application process, and in the two other times I applied to this very program I was never offered one! Happy dance!!! Happy dance!!! Happy dance!!!!

OK....settle down. Must settle down to watch Grey's Anatomy.

Done and done

I just submitted my nursing application today! I had one of my friends, a new nurse practitioner, read over my two statements for me and give me suggestions on how to improve them. I'm so glad I did because they sound so much better now! I really wasn't happy with what I wrote before all the editing, mainly because I really am not too fond of playing myself up and writing about just how AWESOME I am. It's quite embarrassing to me, really. But you are really suppose to sell yourself in these things, and the main reason I didn't get an interview last year, according to somebody on the committee, was because I didn't address this enough. So it helped for somebody who knows me well to tell me what she saw in me that would make me a successful nurse. I found that a 250 word limit was just not enough for me, so a lot of cutting and editing followed.

Even though I was very happy with the results, I was still extremely nervous hitting that "Submit application" button. I had my hand over the mouse for a while, finger hovering over the button as my co-worker who was in the room at the time encouraged, "Do it! Do it" So click I did. It is out of my hands now. Now I sit and wait....and obsessively check the status of my application (my transcripts better be in their hands already!)

Why so nervous? Well I am so ready to move on. Cancer research was just suppose to be a stepping stone, but it turned into 6 years of my life (!!!) As glamorous and noble the profession may sound, I am just so sick of all the politics involved and many a jaded grad student and post-doc has confirmed my feelings towards it. Did you know that a new post-doc, who just went through at least 5 years of grad school and has a PhD, makes just about as much as me, who only a has bachelor's under my belt? Pure ridiculousness! You really have to love research (or hate yourself) to even plan on staying in this field long enough to make some real money.....like enough to be able to support your family. 

So I'm waiting for my turn, for my career to start going the way I want it. This is my third time applying. I've tried for three years to get into this program! It's great for me because I already have a bachelor's degree in another field, so it only takes 14 months to complete. The real perk, though, is the fact that you are matched with a participating hospital in Tucson and they pay for your tuition. We also get a stipend for books, uniform, and equipment. In turn, you dedicate three years of work at your sponsor hospital. Guaranteed job after graduation? Check! In this economy, entry-level positions are getting harder and harder to come by in this state, despite the nursing shortage. Newbie nurses just take more money to train!

So keep your fingers crossed for me! Third time's a charm, eh?