Sunday, May 24, 2009

My dear, sweet Sammy

I regret to write that Jon and I have lost our sweet, furry baby, Sammy, yesterday afternoon. It came with no warning and so all of a sudden. I still don't understand why. Jon and I had left the house for only a few hours to wander around the mall and get some lunch. By the time we came back home, my Cham-Cham was gone.

When I opened the door to the house there was no one there peeking his nose out the door and wagging his tail to welcome me home. Of course, I was immediately worried and confused because he's ALWAYS there to welcome us home. With great trepidation, I slowly stepped my way into the house, afraid of what I was going to find. I found him in the living room but I froze before I got to him, my vision blurry and I not fully comprehending what I saw. I called out to Jon behind me, my words falling before I could get it all out as I finally understood what was going on, "I think something's wrong!" We ran forward at the same time, hoping for the best but knowing better. I heard myself start to scream, but I felt like I had no control over myself. This was my worst nightmare coming into play--my mind in it's darkest place during Jon's deployment would wander to this possibility.

As Jon pulled it together enough to prepare the car and call the vet, I stayed with my dog, weeping over his lifeless body and stroking his fur. I told him how sorry I was for the bath that morning, for not letting him up on the bed and couch more often, for not giving him enough walks, or giving people food to him more often. But mostly, I told him how sorry I was for not being there for him in his greatest time of need, and how much it hurt to know that he passed while he was all alone. I told him how I loved him and I hoped he knew just how much.

I'm really going to miss my baby. I still can't believe he's gone. This wasn't how things were supposed to work out. I had planned on watching him grow into an old boy, seeing how he would have been with the babies when they came. I had planned on many doggy birthdays to celebrate

Many years of his hiding every time we turned the shower on and giving him baths

Many years of him grabbing every opportunity to get up on the couch or bed when Mommy wasn't looking or when Daddy snuck him on

So to my dear, sweet Sammy, your Mommy and Daddy love you very much. We always joked about what a pain you were, but all that was well worth it to have you in our lives. We know now that no matter what we have planned out for our lives, all that doesn't matter because God has his own plans. God sent you to us for a purpose, and you have fulfilled that purpose and now are back at His side. You have gone to somewhere we could not follow and that hasn't been easy on us. We miss you greatly and it's going to take a while to heal from this emptiness we both feel. We're going to miss how you used to chase "the light," how you used to steal Daddy's dirty socks from his boots and happily hop around the living room, how you used to jump up on the bed when Mommy got in the shower and promptly jumped off as soon as the water was turned off, the sound of your eating and drinking, your demands for a walk, and how you used to stare at us in the mornings when we stirred, as if willing us to open our eyes and get up to let you out.

To all of you that have pets, please go hug them a little longer, spoil them a little bit more, and never take for granted any moment you have with them. Life is short and should be lived to the fullest.

10 comments:

New Girl on Post said...

Oh my God! I am so so sorry Tania! I feel for you so much, I know how sad I would be if something happened to Boomer.

Thinking of you!

kd said...

Tania, I am so sorry! I know you must be hurting a lot right now. I hope you can find some peace knowing that Sammy is in puppy heaven where there are lots and lots of couches to get on and no baths.

I'll be thinking of you guys! hugs

High Heels & Combat Boots said...

So so sorry!!! I know pets are just like a part of the family so I will be thinking of you!!

d.a.r. said...

Oh Tania I am so so so sorry. I hope Sammy is enjoying puppy heaven with endless supplies of people food and treats, big fluffy couches and lots of pets.

Hang in there.

Cole said...

Sending big hugs your way, Tania. I'm so, so, so sorry for your loss. It's so difficult and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

Hold on to those great memories of Sammy. He sounds like a wonderful dog.

Rachel said...

Tania, I'm so sorry to hear about Sammy. Hugs to you and your hubby

loquita said...

I am so so sorry Tania... Wish I could be there to give you a real hug. Thank God that Jon is there with you, and you're not grieving alone. Sammy knew how loved he was, don't let yourself doubt that. ***hugs***

Full of Heart said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your little fur baby, that's so sad! I think it's the hardest when they go without any warning, and when you're not around.
I know none of us have the right things to say, but know we are thinking of you?

raecatherine said...

Our dogs become part of us...and I always enjoyed reading about Sammy's exploits. I'm sorry that your furry friend is gone...I'll be thinking of you guys and Sophie will be sending all her wags and kisses your way.

Sara said...

Oh my gosh I'm sobbing. I really feel for you because that's the way I would react if something happened to Jagger. A part of me would die with him... oh sweetie I'm just so sorry.