What not to say to a milspouse

I really am clueless when it comes to the Army lifestyle. I live 75 miles away from our post and I work and interact strictly with civilians. Sometimes I wish I could live on post so that I'm surrounded by people who understand the whole lifestyle.

Today, at work, I was talking about my goal to lose weight before Jon gets here because one co-worker asked me if I was going running again. I stated that even when Jon is here, I plan on working out some and maybe even making him go with me. In response, another co-worker expressed disbelief at this and told me that Jon was home for relaxation. Now, I'm not going to force my husband to work out with me. I just thought it would be nice if he could join me some time and see what it is I do while he's gone. During one of our conversations he told me how sick of the gym he was, so maybe this would be a good way to shake things up in his routine. He went through a period when he was just so down about his situation, saying that maybe 9 months was the breaking point for him and how he should have scheduled his R&R earlier. He was getting sick of the routine, just going to 3 places every day for so long: his room, his office, and the gym. 

I was telling all this to my co-workers and didn't know what to say when the response was "And he's complaining?" and "I do that!" I was so upset! I remember I did respond, but don't remember what I said to defend my husband. I'm sure it was lost anyways, as they moved on to a different subject. I was almost in tears. When I get that upset, a horrible lump forms in my throat and the tears come next--I hate it. I wish I didn't cry for everything lately. Why did they say all that? Even if it was in a joking manner (which I kind of doubt), I didn't like it one bit. I thought these people, of all people, would be a little more sympathetic. They just don't understand. Hell, I don't even understand what my husband has to go through! Maybe they do just follow the same routine every day, but they choose to. Are they 7,000 miles away from their families? No. They get to go home to their families at the end of every day. If they have a hard day at work, they can choose to sit back and unwind, maybe even throw back a cold one. My husband can't do any of that. He complains he can't get away from work, and even then, what else is there to do? He just ends up going back in. And we all know about General Order No. 1. so no stress relief with alcohol. Which reminds me, Jon has taken up smoking cigars as stress relief and for camaraderie. He's not a smoker by any means, so I laughed when I found that out when an invoice for said cigars was mailed to me. 

Anyways, had to get that all off my chest. I think I about exploded. I forgot about it during my kickboxing class, but thought about it again in the shower. That lump wouldn't go away and I couldn't stop crying, I was so mad! How dare they take for granted what my husband is doing right now! They made it sound so trivial! I really wanted to throw something back in their faces and make them eat their own words, but I bit my tongue. I'd like to see them go over there for 15 months, no, even "just" 12 months without seeing or being able to hold their babies, or kiss their spouses, or do whatever they want, because freedom is very limited in our soldiers' world. Maybe I'm being hypersensitive about the whole thing, but I think I have a good reason. I mean, it's been a year, almost to the day(27 Nov 2007), since I saw Jon. But I feel better now. Really.

Whyyyyyy??!!!!

I found out yesterday that they're putting off the release date for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. You have no idea how much I was looking forward to this and for how long! And did the push it back a week or a month? NO!! It's not coming out until July 17, 2009 now! I was so pissed when I found out! All for the sake of making more money! Let me tell you, the time you release the movie really won't have an impact because us HP fans are hardcore!

OK, I'm done now. Just thought I'd share the news with y'all in case you didn't hear it yet. On a brighter note, Twilight now has been pushed up to HP's original release date of November 21, so I'll at least have that. The guy who plays Edward looks exactly as I pictured him while I was reading the books!

Oh yeah....hooray for Shawn Johnson for winning the gold for balance beam! She's so cute I just want to pinch her cheeks and squeeze her!

Six

That's the number of times the word "ass" or other variations of the word appear in this post, so be warned.

I'm so sick of dealing with idiot drivers here in Tucson. I haven't had run-ins with them very frequently, fortunately, because I no longer have to commute from Sierra Vista every day. But today just solidified a belief that I've held for a while now: people who drive big ass trucks are ASSHOLES. Just because you're sitting up all high does not make you high and mighty and able to do whatever the hell you want! You still should be courteous to other drivers on the road!

So in Tucson most of the major streets are 4-6 lanes across...more like little mini highways with speed limits ranging anywhere from 35-45 mph. You can find most of us cruising down these streets at 50 mph unless it is a well-known heavily patrolled area (note: Tucson is greatly lacking in traffic cops). A lot of these streets gain and lose lanes at certain intersections, and I know where these intersections are. If I'm approaching one I know will be short one lane on the other side of the light, I try to avoid staying in that disappearing lane, unless I want to make the light, which is an entirely different beef I have with Tucson drivers. Even when I know I will have to merge with the other lane, I don't gun it and try to cut the other drivers off....I proceed slowly so as to let other drivers know that I'm not there to cut you off like some jerk.

Well that happened to me twice today, by the same truck! I just let him cut me off both times, although I was fuming at this display of assholeness. To add to my anger, the second time he was cutting me off, right behind him was another driver trying to do the same! And what, you may ask, was this asshole driving? You guessed it: a big ass truck! I could see him looking in his side mirror and turning his head as he gunned it, but I was beyond pissed at that moment. I gunned it too (oh hell no, this other asshole is not getting away with this too!) He finally had to concede and slowed down to get behind me, but that didn't stop him from riding me until I had to turn off. It's occurrences like these that bring out the bitch in me. Watch out...I can be a very aggressive driver!

I just got back from San Diego today. I flew over in my car on Saturday and flew back today. I make good time--just a 6 hour drive. Almost everyone in my lab literally flew over for a huge annual nerdfest, so I followed them over. As much as I planned on partaking in some of the nerdy festivities, it just didn't work out....but I had a good time anyways.

So on the way there, I had to wait in line at a Border Patrol checkpoint. I was really surprised when they just waved me through because the usual drill would involve me stopping and rolling down my window so I could talk to them. Well on the way back from San Diego, I had to cross another BP checkpoint. I didn't do my usual roll-down-the-window drill this time because they just waved me through last time (I was pushing my luck....I know). When I got up to the BP agent he was just staring at me through the window and saying something. I took this mean that I could pass because he didn't give me the "roll down your window" signal. So I start to leave and he and his buddy jump forward and tap on my window (oh no she's getting away!). Eye rolling on my part. Heeeere we go!

So I roll my window down and wait for the usual questions:

BPA: Hi, how are you doing today?
me: Fine, thank you. (He's staring at my mouth and studying my reaction as I'm talking--usually this question is good enough to let me through because once I respond, they can hear that I am American).
BPA: Are you a U.S. citizen? (they throw that in there sometimes)
me: Of course (with a little bit of attitude--did he not hear me speak?)
BPA: Where are you headed?
me: Home...to Tucson (I've never been asked this before so I can't believe the question)
BPA: Is this your car?
me: Yes...it's my husband's and mine.
what I really wanted to say: Oh no, sir. I jacked it and the owner is in the trunk bound and gagged. Would you like to take a look?

Is it so impossible to believe that the car is mine?

That last question upset me. In fact, the whole encounter upset me--for the remaining 150 miles back to Tucson. I even cried a little bit because they made me feel like shit! I really don't see a purpose in asking those questions because Mexican citizens come into the country every day to go shopping and visit. I used to have to deal with these guys every day during my work day commute. At first, I used to get offended that they were questioning my citizenship (why am I, an American, being harrassed in my own country?), but after many times I just grew indifferent to it. I'm not the only one it bothered either. Jon got really offended by that question. He'd drive off and be pissed off the entire rest of the way to Tucson: "I just got back from Iraq fighting for this fucking country! How can they be questioning my citizenship?!" And the boy don't even look Mexican. Everytime we were stopped when Jon was driving my stomach dropped because guess who has to deal with the pissy husband and try to calm him down?

The reason it bothered me today was the excess of questions. I mean, I really don't think I look at all suspicious. Yeah I'm brown, but I'm driving by myself in a freaking Volvo S60! If I were attempting to cross in a windowless white van, maybe they'd have a reason for suspicion. Oh wait a minute....I wasn't even trying to cross the border! Did they not notice my Ft. Huachuca sticker on my windshield? My gringa accent? They made me feel like I was doing something wrong and I honestly felt unwelcome in my own country! I know they were just doing their job (can they be a little nicer about it?), but it still stings.

Wow am I an angry person (and tired too now)

Dear inconsiderate neighbor,

I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't let your dog yap incessantly in the early mornings. I had just come out of a nice REM cycle and this was just supposed to be a minor stir and I should have fallen back asleep, but your yappy dog has been barking nonstop. Why do you let him do this pretty much every morning? It's Saturday morning!!!! I can't sleep! I'm estimating he started around 6 am so when 6:30 rolled around, I had had enough. I lay there debating for that half hour if I should get up and look for the source of this offensive noise. After half an hour, I figured, why not? I'm completely awake already! So I get out of bed, get somewhat dressed and march down a couple houses and find your house. So yes, I did ring your doorbell twice. Did I get a response? No. But I did get your annoying little yappy dog to run in through his doggie door to bark at your front door. Too bad he ran back outside. So I tried to talk to you in person to ask nicely to please shut your dog up. I. am. tired. So yes, I did just call Pima Animal Control's animal noise complaint line and yes I did report you. As I'm typing this I can still hear your dog's yapping. Thank you for taking away one of my two days for sleeping in. I'm going to have a long tired day now.

Sincerely,
your sleep deprived neighbor

Angry post ahead!!!

Dear Idiot Mexican Driver,

I would really appreciate it if you would stay off the road until you learn how to drive. Go over to the DMV and please retake that driver's test--but don't drive there. Oh no....you take the bus, have a friend drive you there, hell, walk for all I care. And don't believe that expiration date on the nice shiny new license good until 2048. You are a special case my friend, and will need to revisit the DMV every 5 years.

Now, when you see a sign that says "Right Lane Ends, Merge Left," that does not mean that you must do this at all costs. No buddy, you actually have to yield to the traffic that is in the lane that you want to get in. I saw you in the rearview mirror, gunning your way through that light (it was blatantly red--are you blind?) and the car behind me didn't leave any room for another car to get in, much less a big ass piece of shit truck hauling a trailer. Any decent driver with common sense would see this and get over behind this car, especially since you were behind her to begin with. But no, you, being the jackass that you are, decide that you don't want to slow down and proceed to speed along toward our nice little procession and practically shove her off the road, as there was already just one lane going south. But did you stop there? Oh.......no. For some bizarre reason you felt entitled to get in front of me too! Could you not see that your lane was gone, done, terminado?! You were practically driving on the shoulder almost comepletely behind me, yet you kept right on coming, determined to get in front of me. So here I am laying on the horn at somebody behind me!!!! I'm sure the car in front of me was wondering why I was honking at him--I hope he saw he was not the reason for the loud outburst, but that some idiot hauling a trailer behind me was trying to pull a dumbshit move. I thought I had seen it all. I threw my hands up in the air ("What the fuck are you trying to do here?!") when I felt like yelling out the window "Learn how to fuckin' drive you fuckin' Mexican!!!! Did I say that? No, just a common gesture, not really offensive but showing you what a dumbass move that was. And what did you do? You flipped me off!!! Excuse me?! I was following the rules of the road. You almost ran me off the road. What did you want me to do. Pull into the turn lane just so you can get your ass in front of me? I....think....not. So, forgetting my ladylike composure, I returned the gesture two-fold. That is how angry I was. Thanks a lot. I was in a good mood until now. I just got done with a pretty decent run and it's 70 degrees out. Work was not too bad. All in all, a pretty good day......until you showed up in my life. I hope I never have to see you or experience your idiot driving ever again. It's jackasses like you that drive me to road rage sometimes.

Very sincerely,
mystified driver with some common sense